Thursday, December 23, 2010

Yosemitebear Mountain Giant Double Rainbow 1-8-10

And this, boys and girls, is why I have been proudly drug-free for all of my 40 years.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Wow. I am almost the father of two eight year olds. Their birthday is in two weeks. Couldn't be happier. Christmas is coming. The holidays are a great time for all of us.

I have the walkway lights out and some decorations in the front yard. I watched "Invasion of the Christmas Lights (part deaux), and the wife turned to me and asked, "Does that make you excited?" I said, "No, it makes my back hurt."

We're kind of bizarre, though. Both us being Lutheran, we have an advent calendar. It has little boxes you can put stuff in. Well, there's one of Santa's elves who leaves notes in the boxes, and he gives the boys small little toys every night. They get up in the morning and read the note and play with (or use) whatever the elf leaves. Oh, and the elf's name is Walter. Last year, it was Tink.

It's kind of this pagan, Hanukkah, Christmas type of thing. But it works for us.

Oh, yeah, then there are the trees. 6, to be exact. One in the living room, one in the breakfast nook, one in the dining room, one each for the boys, and the Charlie Brown tree. Out of these six, we were only crazy enough to buy one live one.

I'm off Christmas Day, so I get to spend it with the family. And playing with my toys.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Of Mosques and Marriage

As of this writing, there is a movement to build a mosque 600 feet away from Ground Zero. Now, IF the people who claim this is for healing and to memorialize those who gave their lives in 9/11, I would say, by all means build it. Do they have a right to build it? Well, let me see, the First Amendment, as President Barack Obama seeimingly just discovered, protects the right to build it. However, the leader of the group, one Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, who, as we speak is in the Middle East on a "goodwill" mission, refuses to label Hamas a terrorist organization. Someone who will not condemn must approve. This is in bad taste. In my opinion, it is a slap in the face of every person not just in the Twin Towers, but also on those planes that hit the buildings. Just becasue you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

If this goes through, how about the Ted Bundy school for girls? The Ted Kennedy Memorial Causeway over Chappaquidick?

From what I have heard and read, many union workers who would be building this will conveniently call in sick. If no one is willing to build it, it will not get built. But, it just might go through. If they find some people to build it, then all of those who refuse to build it can build something right next to it...Greg Gutfeld's gay bar. Classic.

Which brings me to the other topic in some dispute, gay marriage. Marriage is a union between a man and a woman for the purpose of propagating the species. It has been this way for hundreds, if not thousands of years, back when Og bashed his choice over the head and drug her back to the cave. It is noted as such in every culture around the world. With that being said,(here comes my libertarian streak coming out) if two consenting adults want the legal right for one of them to have access to the others' property, if they want to live together and do whatever they do in the bedroom, then so be it. The main point they want to make is that it is a "marriage". This is twisting the knife into those intolerant of homosexuality in general. It is a knee jerk reaction. They are playing with semantics. And, those who are pushing loudest for this know it. Should we make it illegal? No. It violates equal protection to ban it. Call it a civil union. Call it a partnership. Whatever your religious or political predilections are, both sides just need to use some common sense.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Has it been that long?

Wow...I must have been busier than I thought. Well, we have oil that should be in cars in the gulf. Where are the protesters? Where is Greenpeace taunting BP? Where is the Sierra Club? Where are all the wackos who are usually tied to trees? Can you imagine if this was a conservative president during all of this? All of these greenie weenie groups would want his head on a platter.

I'm thinking about writing again. Just columns in the paper. I REALLY need to get one out about Connor before he finds out I wrote one about Logan, and not him. faux pas. I will...I just need to be inspired.

That's about it. More later.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day to all moms, not just mine. From all of us sons, daughters, grandkids, etc., thank you for all you do and all you've done for us.

You're one of the biggest influence in our lives, and we all love you.

Mom, I don't say it enough any more, but I love you. My wife loves you. And my kids all love you.

You made me the man I am today...well, the snarky part, at least. :-)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I.D., please

The Arizona governor just signed a "controversial" immigration reform bill into law. For those who have been under a rock, or just don't follow the news, the main tenets of the bill are:

1)Cops have the authority to determine if someone is in the country illegally, and ask for documentation to determine if they are, in fact, legal residents.

2)People can sue the law enforcement agency if they aren't doing their job by enforcing #1.

So.....where's the controversy?

People are worried about being racially profiled as illegal immigrants. Well, you could stay out of trouble and not give the police a reason to suspect you of any wrong doing. (in other words, DON'T RUN FROM THEM!!!)

True, there may be the occasional rogue cop who abuses this, but for the most part, I don't see this being put into effect 24/7. Like every law, it might only be enacted when, I don't know, people are breaking the law. Go figure.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio is all for this bill. So are, from what I hear, the majority of Arizonans. Only time will tell how this works.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The good ol' days...

How many of you have grandparents (or parents, even) who are like the Grumpy Old Man Dana Carvey plaed on Saturday Night know, the one who started out sentences with "When I was your age..."?

Now, how many you had parents or grandparents who MEANT it?

Seems like they had it rough....going to school, uphill both ways in the snow, with paper sacks for shoes...

Had to work 18 hours a day, 6 days a week to get enough money to buy a 5 cent hamburger....

Then split that up between themselves and 6 siblings... (And they always liked it!!)

This generation we can't do that. What are we going to tell our grandkids? "When I was your age, we had to lift our arm and point a remote control to turn on the TV set...we couldn't just blink."

"When I was your age, we had to put the car in gear for it to drive..not just tell it where to go!!"

How about these:

"When I was your age, people actually went out, got jobs, and were rewarded for doing hard work. They didn't give over all of their money to the government and were told they were the drain on America because they didn't want handouts."

"When I was your age, we had to earn things like cars, televisions, houses....we didn't just get them because we breathe air."

"When I was your age, we could own a gun and defend ourselves when some recidivistic scumbag broke into our house at 3 am wanting to rob and kill us, instead of being convicted of a crime because we decided the stuff we had was ours...including our family's lives."

And, how about..."When I was your age, we could speak our mind...we had a Constitution, not some "global hate speech" law..."


Tuesday, April 06, 2010


Didn't post because it was Easter. Yeah, that's the ticket!! Been busy this week. Tired, too. Got some stuff the boss wanted planted in the front yard, been doing other bits and pieces of yard work.

My big news is that I got a new smoker. Yes, that's right, a box where you pop in a big slab of meat, spend about 10 minutes every 3 hours switching out charcoal and wood chips, and voila, in a few hours, you have some delicious smoked meat.

Got it Friday. Was at work, so had to wait until Saturday to use it. First thing I smoked was a rack of spare ribs that would have made Fred Flintsone proud. Took about 8 hours. Fan-freaking-tastic. Then, that night, smoked a brisket the size of a SmartCar and stayed up all night, switching the coal and wood chips out. That, too, was awesome.

Next up on Sunday, gonna throw two (dead) chickens in there, and see what happens. Hopefully they'll turn out.

I'll have a better rant next time. I promise.

Monday, March 29, 2010

So sorry...didn't post last night. I was so tired I forgot.

Anyway, just a quick is looking good. Boys are great, had an old friend come by Wed. night and it was like old times. I'm trying to talk my wife into getting a wind turbine for the home. No luck so far. After all, when the economy comes crashing down, we won't be able to afford our light bill.

Fedzilla is on its' way to every house. Fight for your right to property. They've already nullified 60 or so leases on federal land because someone might have seen a one-eyed albino willyjumper or some crap like that. And these were ranchers and farmers who were using the land properly and for the good of themselves, their neighbors, and because of that, their country.


Sunday, March 21, 2010

And so it begins...

If memory serves me correctly, if enough bad stuff was fed into his system, Godzilla grew, and became more powerful. Life is no imitating art. But, this time, it's not Godzilla, but Fedzilla. That bloated, self righteous, egomaniacal, fairy tale creature that has, sadly enough, come to life.

Congrats to the 224 morons who voted for this bill. For most of you, you just sealed your fate. Soon you will be out of the public eye and will have to face your (former) constituents and see what havoc you hath wreaked upon them. But, they don't care. They're set for life. They won't have to abide by the rules they themselves made. Fedzilla has demolished Washington, D.C., and will soon demolish the rest of America.

Can this be stopped? I think it can. Starting in November of this year (2010), I think the vision that Madison wrote about in the Federalist Papers (which every Congressman should be required to read, along with the constitution) will once again come to fruition. People WILL hold their Congresspeople accountable. People WILL demand a litmus test to see if this person who they choose to elect will do their will, instead of the will of lobbyists, many of which represent entities that go against everything this country stands for.

Standing up for our rights and holding the powers that be accountable are the best way of stopping Fedzilla dead in its' tracks. Keep fighting. Call your Senators and tell them to vote no. Also, read. But not the best sellers on the conservative book club's 10 best list. Or those books that Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh (if you listen to them) say are must reads. Read "The Communist Manifesto". Read "Rules For Radicals". Read the writings of Woodrow Wilson. More than that, however, understand what they say and what they mean.

Question what you believe. I have, and it made my faith in what I believe even stronger.

“If once the people become inattentive to the public affairs, you and I, and Congress and Assemblies, Judges and Governors, shall all become wolves. It seems to be the law of our general nature, in spite of individual exceptions.” Thomas Jefferson

Saturday, March 13, 2010

The American Dream

I was thinking today about "The American Dream". What exactly is it? Well, I think it's something different for every person. For some, it's making as much money as humanly possible, all the glitz and glamor and the trappings associated with it. For others, it's a warm meal and a dry place to lay your head. For most of us, I believe it's just living your life as well as possible. Being good parents, going to your job, paying your bills. Do you really need the trappings? Do you really want all the money and all the problems? The money would be nice, don't get me wrong. But, I'm not sure about the headaches.

In the Declaration of Independence, it is stated that we have self-evident truths.That we are endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights. Among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Happiness itself, however, is not guaranteed. It can not be guaranteed by any edict, rule, or law. It can not be guaranteed by coveting what your neighbor has. It can not be guaranteed by any extrinsic factor. The happiness you pursue can only be found in yourself, and in your relationship with whatever form you believe that Creator takes. That is intrinsic in nature. No one, no thing, no place on Earth can make you totally happy. They help with it, but in the end, it's you and that Creator.

Every day, I wake up, go to work (or do chores around the house), come home, spend time with my family, kiss my wife, hug my boys, and know that I did my best. Every morning I wake up, I try to remember to thank God for every day, and for the ability and the freedom to do what I need and want to do. I am living the American dream.

Keep the positive attitude. I may sometimes seem frustrated, irritable, tired, and cranky, but then God gives me a proverbial slap on the back of the head and reminds me to be thankful for everything He has given me. And all I really need. My life, my freedom, and my family. I understand my needs, and my wants. And pursuing those unalienable rights--celebrating those self evident truths--help me appreciate the wants and the value of it all. For this, I am truly thankful.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Hollywood deaths

Okay, I have to get this off of my chest. Yes, it is sad that Corey Haim died today. My heartfelt condolences go out to his family.

With that being said, he brought it on himself. Putting that crap in his body means sooner or later he would end up dead. That is a foregone conclusion.

It must be something about that environment that does it to them. In that fishbowl called Hollyweird, as old family friend (the late) Allen Wayne Damron had on one of his album covers: "Everything in excess...Moderation is for monks."

Look at the LONG line of entertainers who died young due to drugs: Hank Williams, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jim Belushi, River Phoenix, Heath Ledger, Chris Farley...and the list goes on. Now, Corey Haim. He lasted longer than the others.

Who will be next?

Sunday, March 07, 2010

And the WINNER is.....

As I sit in my kitchen, the vapid, insipid, vacuous, and banal sounds of the Academy Awards is present in the background. I don't know about you, but I find these awards shows to be self-aggrandizing PR ploys so some off the wall designer can sell some ugly, expensive clothes just because their label is on them, and to garner interest in a bloaded industry. It's a popularity contest among the popular.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy movies. Just not "Academy Award" type movies. I would rather cut my spleen out with a dull, rusty, feces infested grapefruit spoon than watch one of those. Unless there's lots of action, things blowing up, and gunplay. Then, I'll watch it. Until a James Bond film gets nominated for best picture, I might care. And, when they bring back saying, "And the winner is..." instead of reminding everyone, "Everyone here is a winner". No, Stuart Smalley, not everyone there are winners. There are four losers and one winner. Like life, which these award shows are not imitating.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Arrogance of Olympic proportions

Okay, so my wife tells me tonight that some Russian ice skating male has said if someone can't do a quadruple spinning putzjammer (or some crap like that), then they shouldn't win the Gold Medal. Not that I give two dead flies about it. He apparently says this after the American, who claims he opted to not do the spin or twist or whatever the hell it is, won the Gold Medal. So,in my eyes, not only do I not give two dead flies about it, I now don't give two dead flies about it, AND he's a sore loser.

So what does he do after this? He apparently awards himself a "Platinum" Medal. He can't lose graciously. He has to throw some hissy fit and do something asinine. So now, I don't give two dead flies, and he's an arrogant sore loser.

Wish one of the American hockey players would have body checked his little sequin wearing, flitting around ass into the stands. I would have DVR'd that and played it over and over and over. And over.

On that note, why do we even have the Olympics? I mean, even though it is reminiscent of when the best and the strongest competed in Ancient Greece in the original Olympic games, and is a great test for young athletes to show their talents and hard work, and brings countries together for a pride in their nation that says "we're the best by beating the best", and shows truly what America is about--working hard, performing well, and sometimes falling, but when you do, you pick yourself up and finish; and sometimes, winning--and being magnanimous either way. in this arena of ideas where every kid gets a trophy just for showing up to events, where no one country should be better than another, and where mediocrity is not just encouraged but revered, is it right for us to celebrate our country's victories over another because we are all supposed to be on the same level? Why aren't people crying, wailing, and gnashing their teeth over this? I find it kind of ironic.

But, maybe I'm just being bitter because the U.S. didn't even place in curling.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Alone for the moment

My wonderful wife is about 120 miles north of me right now, on a conference for business. That means it's a few "man days" as my 7 year old twins call them.

I love being a dad. We were hanging out, just playing video games and got a good insight on what modern 7 year olds are like. They're pretty cool, in a goofy, geeky-without-knowing-it kind of way. They say some pretty funny things, but act way silly. I have already contacted my parents and apologized profusely for how I acted. They are my children. Right down to the armpit farts.

Anyway, they're good kids. I just wouldn't want to do this whole parenthood thing alone all the time. My wife is my partner in it, and we make a pretty damn good team.

They watched "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" earlier. They'll finish it tomorrow night before I turn it back in. Pretty boring day. But, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Missed this past weekend's post with Valentine's and all....I'm a cad. I got my wife a card, but no gift. Why? Because I suck at giving gifts. She even said so. She claims it's the effort I put into it, and not the gift itself. Maybe I can get her new shoelaces for her running shoes. Not that she needs them, mind you, but I can say, "yeah, but I put a lot of thought and effort into this gift." Since that's what counts. I can ask her mom and her friends, but I guess I need to really think about what to give. The only problem is, what I think she'll like is maybe totally different than what she likes. And I get some awesome things. Like my IPod touch.

I got angry. I guess she wants me to put a lot of thought into getting her a Snuggie (which she would hate and probably re-gift)than get her a nice card with a nice sentiment written inside. which is what I gave her (the card, not the Snuggie). But, if I suck at giving gifts,and she knows it, she'd be doubly disappointed because the gift would suck. And he being underenthused about some of what I have given her in the past has kind of made me gun shy to even try.

I was frustrated and I had to take a drive to clear my head some and driving fast on the back roads of my youth with some Uncle Ted (Nugent, for the uninformed) blaring out of the speakers calmed me down. I don't know why hard, bass thumping, screaming guitar rock and roll does it for me. Maybe that's what I heard in the womb. Maybe it's my friend's brother Steve whose to blame. After all, I first heard "Cat Scratch Fever" at his house. And was introduced to KISS. Or maybe, like the real Delta and Texas blues, it's real. But, I digress....

So, anyway, I have an idea for something. It's something I have been thinking about for a long time to get back into the good graces, and show her that no matter how bleak things seem, I do love her. I think it's time. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Top 20 guy movies (my picks)

Okay....after much deliberation about what I should blog about, I decided on something that has been debated...the top 10 movies every guy should watch with a nice steak. This is not all-inclusive, but it's a good start. Neither is it in order, but rather just a list as I think of them. Remember, this is a matter of taste and opinion, so here it goes....

#20) "Walking Tall"

Joe Don Baker's version, not Dwayne Johnson's. Joe Don Baker taking Teddy Roosevelt's advise about carrying a big stick.

#19) "Every Which Way But Loose"

"Right turn, Clyde". A tough guy named Philo Beddoe, an Orangutan, and Momma. Need I say more?

#18) "Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail".

One of the most quoted movies ever, and for good reason.Drunk or sober, funny as hell.

#17) "Rocky"

Classic story about the underdog. Sly Stallone's second best movie. (Best is at #4)

#16) "El Dorado"

John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, and James Caan. Or is it "Rio Bravo"? Oh, well...basically the same film. Whichever one has John Wayne throwing dynamite to get the bad guys out of the house.

#15) "Death Wish"

Charles Bronson out for revenge on the scum who killed his wife and raped his daughter.

#14) "Dirty Harry".

Eastwood. .44 mag. 'Nuff said.

#13) "Pale Rider"

Often overlooked, a preacher helps some prospectors in the early california gold rush. But, the preacher isn't as peaceful as he seems.

#12) "Lone Wolf McQuade"

Have to get Chuck Norris in here somehow, and this is better than his other films...the fight with Bruce Lee is a close second.

#11) "The Dirty Dozen"

12 misfits released from military prison to do a job no one else wants to do.

#10) "Under Seige"

Before we all knew he was a vegetarian green spewing self proclaimed Lama reincarnation, Steven Seagal could kick some major ass. He couldn't act then, or now, but his Aikido was awesome. That is why I chose his last best movie, "Under Seige". At the time heralded as "Die Hard" on a battleship, it had everything any guy could want...firepower, explosives, high body counts, and Erika Eleniak. He played a ex-seal turned cook on a warship who had to save the world from a crazy Tommy Lee Jones and even crazier Gary Busey.

#9) "Patton"

Need I say more? A movie about one of the best generals this country ever produced, and showing why Hitler feared him and the Japanese hated him. George C. Scott was phenomenal and it makes you proud to be an American.


One of (IMHO) the best James Bond films ever, right next to Goldfinger, Pierce Brosnan's first foray into the Bond role. Again, firepower, explosives, and the ubiquitous Bond girls (Famke Janssen and Izabella Scorupco), with the bad guys getting their come-uppance in true secret agent fashion.

#7) "The Magnificent Seven"

Akira Kurosawa's "The Seven Samurai" in an "Americanized" format, as seven hard cases help a poor Mexican town from banditos. Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, and James Coburn all in one film. Truly a Hollywood classic.

#6)"The Quiet Man"

You can talk about Bogey and Bacall (or Bergman), or Tracy and Hepburn, or even Pitt and Jolie, but my favorite is Wayne and O'Hara. Yes, this seems like an odd choice, but this is a "chick flick" guys can like. Not only does it have John Wayne in it, playing a boxer who returns to his Irish ancestral home, it has one of the most scandalous scenes for the 1950's. The fight is classic, and the supporting characters make things interesting. A slow pace, but you're not bored.

#5) "Bullitt"

Any cop this badass is one cop I don't want to cross. Also, it has a 1968 Ford Mustang 390 CID Fastback. Although the Mopar freak in me was rooting for the 1968 Dodge Charger R/T 440 Magnum, (I cried when the Challenger blew up in "Hellraiser", but that's another story.), you have to give the 'Stang it's props. Arguably the best automobile chase scene ever......ever.

#4) "First Blood"

Don't mess with a special forces trained Vietnam Vet with PTSD.

#3) "Ben Hur"

Have to give Charlton Heston his props with this entry. Great story, and the chariot race scene makes it worthwhile.

#2) "Predator"

By far, Arnold Schwarzenegger's best (again, in my opinion). Man vs. alien in a no-holds barred shootout for the stake of the planet. Just wished the ending would have stopped any sequels, or even AVP.

#1) "Apocolypse Now"

My favorite "AntiWar" War movie. And, I think the role that really drove Marlon Brando nuts (otherwise, why would he have taken the role of Kal-El in "Superman?").

Graphic, gritty, and disturbing. I find myself playing the strafing scenes over and over for their sheer beauty and for "Ride of the Valkyries".

Feel free to add any you think i omitted, or just post your views on the ones I chose. Feedback is always welcome.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Once a week.

Okay, I've promised myself for months now that I would keep coming back. But, my ADHD has been acting up, and other things (usually Snood) keeps me from posting things I need to. I have a lot to say, and my wife is really the only one who hears my ramblings. I'm sure she wishes I had another outlet. Oh, wait, but I DO!!!

So, here, on my blog, I promise to post something--even if it's a period or one word that describes my mood--once a week. I have a great idea to start things off with. But, you have to wait until Saturday night (it's Thursday now) to find out what it is.

Until then, I will leave you with this--sometimes I feel like Mr. Krabs, sometimes like Plankton, and sometimes like Patrick. But I have NEVER felt at all like Spongebob.